


Identity

by river1983



Series: Tumblr Collections [9]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale and Crowley Through The Ages (Good Omens), Crowley Created the Stars (Good Omens), Crowley Was Raphael Before Falling (Good Omens), Crowley has Trauma from the Fall (Good Omens), Female-Presenting Crowley (Good Omens), Fluff, Genderqueer Character, Genderqueer Crowley (Good Omens), M/M, Male-Presenting Crowley (Good Omens), The Fall (Good Omens), okay thats it with the tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:46:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21959089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/river1983/pseuds/river1983
Summary: An angel, with ginger hair and bright, sparkling green eyes was created to create the stars. But one too many questions lead to a Fall she'll never forget, that changed her forever.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Tumblr Collections [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1454404
Kudos: 54





	Identity

An angel, with ginger hair and bright, sparkling green eyes stood in the middle of the Void, feet standing on nothing as she looked out at the abyss. She wasn’t really a she, in technical terms, but she chose this form.

The angel, whose heavenly name was never to be mentioned, was in charge of creating Stuff to fill the Void, little balls of gas and colors, to fill the emptiness that God had left the angels to tend to.

She didn’t mind, the angel. She found comfort in the darkness, in the softness of the surrounding emptiness. Heaven was too bare, too _boring_ , and here there was so much potential.

She lifted her hand, twirling her fingers together, creating little strands of purple and pink and blue, then pulled her fingers apart to create the first nebula. It was so beautiful, to the angel, unlike anything she had ever seen down in Heaven, with it’s white and grey walls and dry atmosphere. 

She lightly pushed her creation into the Void, which took it and swallowed it, shooting it out into its vast emptiness, where somewhere it lit up the empty space it filled.

The angel closed her eyes, then descended back into Heaven, being called by her brother, Gabriel. She landed softly, her entirely white suit engulfing her body, replacing the light blue dress she was forbidden to wear in Heaven. Her heels clicked as she landed, looking up at Gabriel’s unnaturally blue-borderline-purple eyes. Her hair fell around her, sticking to the gold emblems on her face, outlining her eyebrows and cheekbones. Her lips pursed.

“Hello Gabriel,” She said, her voice loud in contrast to the too-quiet lobby of Heaven.

Gabriel nodded to her in response, somewhat terse. “What have you been doing?”

“What does it matter?”

“It must be perfect, sister. It’s all apart of the Great Plan.”

“What does a few stars and nebulas and planets have to do with the Great Plan?” She asked. She always asked.

Gabriel eyed her warningly. “It is not our business to know, sister. It is only Hers.”

The angel with the ginger hair and green eyes rolled her eyes. “I should get back. Stars won’t make themselves, you know.”

Gabriel nodded. “Be careful, sister. Wouldn’t want you to do something you’ll regret.”

She had already left.

–

The angel with the name that is never mentioned stood in the middle of the void, looking up with a slight smile. After millennia of twisting gasses together to create stars like Alpha Centauri, balling rock and ice and water together to create planets like Neptune, punching some stars already created to make black holes, and intertwining her fingers to create nebulas, she had finally finished creating the Universe. She felt proud, a feeling she had never felt before, and for some reason…love. She loved how bright the sun shined against the darkness, how the deceivingly little dots twinkled in the not-so-emptiness. She liked the coldness of the Void, how it prickled her skin and made her _feel_ what she had created. It made her happy.

But then she Fell.

–

It was so sudden it would have given her whiplash if she were human. Her invisible platform seemed to have disappeared beneath her, and she started to Fall at the speed of light, her skin peeling away at the sheer speed she Fell. She was so confused, so terrified, as she was ripped from the Universe and her comfort. Her wings burned and her hair smelled of sulfur. She felt her eyes melt from the bright, sparkling green to a wily yellow with black slits. Her wings burned until only bone was left, then painfully grew to be the deep ebony she learned to hate.

It hurt, it hurt _so much_ , and she with the no longer sparkling green eyes was so confused and hurt and in pain she felt hysterical as she crashed into the Pit, soaking in the evilness that existed there.

She was in Hell.

–

She was then deemed Crawley, in the blue dress she had been wearing as she always did when she was in the Void, meant to be the snake that drove humanity to evil and sin. Hell was crowded in a way that made her long for the emptiness of the Void, of the Universe she had created. It was just as dull as Heaven, but more moist and full and black. She was immediately assigned to Earth, meant to tempt the first humans to eat of the Forbidden Fruit. Everything moved so fast she could barely keep up. 

She missed the stars.

–

Before she took her place on Earth, she couldn’t stand how much everything she was and wore reminded her of Heaven. She couldn’t take the memories, she felt as if she would fall apart. So she changed her entire self, from the inside out.

She switched from blue to black and grey, deciding to only wear the most casual she could possibly wear during the time period. The blue reminded her of the stars and the nebulas she had created.

She grew colder, withdrew her heart so it didn’t leave itself wide open on her sleeve. She felt so deeply still, but no one can know about that, can they? She was a demon now, and demon’s don’t _feel_ , they don’t know happiness, pride. Those feelings had to get lost among the stars, where she could never reach them again.

Lastly, she changed how she presented herself. She became he, because she reminded him of the sister he once was, of the angel he used to be.

–

When he took his place on Earth, coiled around the branch of the Forbidden Tree, he spotted an angel, studying the little snail making its way across a log. He had never seen this particular angel in Heaven before, but then again, he was hardly in Heaven. His withdrawn heart ached.

The angel stared at the snail as it made it’s way as if he was admiring it. The newly demon felt the sudden urge to talk to the angel, but forced himself to stay perched on his branch. His tongue slithered out curiously. He would someday.

–

“Didn’t you have a flaming sword?“ Said Crawley, staring at the angel’s empty hand.

"Oh, um,” Aziraphale stuttered, looking everywhere but Crawley’s face.

“Yeah, you did. It was flaming like anything, what happened to it?”

Aziraphale looked down at his feet.

“Lost it already, have you?” Crawley chuckled.

“I gave it away,” Aziraphale muttered, staring off at a distant tree. 

“You _what_?” Crawley drawled out, taken aback.

“I gave it away!” Aziraphale said louder, anguish filling his voice. “There are vicious animals!”

Aziraphale continued to blubber on about his reasons for giving away the sword, but Crawley stood in awe at the white-haired angel. There was something different about Aziraphale. He smiled for the first time since falling into the pit.

–

Crowley (formerly known as Crawley) looked softly at Aziraphale through his dark sunglasses as the angel smiled at the stage as Hamlet played on, eating his grapes with joy. He still wasn’t used to it, seeing an _angel_ show how they felt so outwardly, who wanted to experience as much as he could, to feel as much as he could. It was unheard of. As Crowley stared he thought of Heaven, in its sterile and holy glory, and wondered how anyone as perfect and fully feeling as Aziraphale could have come from such a place of apathy.

–

“What in the deuce are you doing locked up in the Bastille? I thought you were opening a bookshop.”

Crowley had found the angel locked up, dressed in aristo clothing, face visibly bored.

“I was…I got peckish. You can only get decent crepes in Paris.”

Crowley shook his head as he snapped his fingers to let Aziraphale free.

–

Their hands touched lightly and too quickly as Crowley handed the brown briefcase full of Aziraphale’s precious prophecy books to the angel.

“A little demonic miracle of my own,”

Crowley saw Azirpahale’s eyes for a split second, but that’s all it took. The look of pure love radiating from those golden eyes as the angel took the case gingerly from the demon’s hands.

Crowley had fallen in love with something other than the stars.

–

At the beginning of the rest of their lives, the end of the world, as Crowley raised his glass to meet Aziraphale’s with a clink, Crowley knew he had found his identity again. Not as the green-eyed angel who lived among the stars, but as a wily demon in love with a bastard angel.


End file.
